BLOOD AND DECISION

When you were sixteen
Your power was plain
To me
The depth of your devotion
Your goodness

I admired you
And loved you
And wanted to tell you
That your kind of light
Is a blessing to the world

I knew I'd met my match
A worthy opponent
The one right voice
To play in my head
Beside my own

I looked in your eyes
And saw our children
And their children
And knew that it would be
I knew it all along

And it’s Mother's Day on Jay Street
Your first one
We’re sitting on the porch watching the rain come
Down through the crab apple blossoms
Falling big and pink and slow
Your arm around my neck and your chair pulled in close
The sound of the rain on the ground
And you show me on the fence where the splashes look like crowns
We breathe deep it smells so sweet
The lilacs the earth and the new leafs
And the boy in my arms fast asleep

You gave me a son
You picked his name
And led me through
All the right hoops
To get there

You didn't have to try
Or think about it
To know what it means
Meaning for you is water
You learn to swim or drown

And I will meet you
At the intersection
Of blood and decision
Again and again
And we'll teach our kids to work

And they'll grow up to be
As good as you
As fair and kind
And they'll teach me
To forgive my faults

And its summertime on the River
The wind blows through
The reaching island pines and the clouds move
Like buffalo on the plain must have used to
Rolling big and gray and slow
The boy in my arms so alert and at home
Moving his little head all around
Taking in the rocks, the boats, the sky, the water and the wave sound
Lapping like a heart-beat lullaby
The song of the tides that have gone by
And I love him so much I want to cry

I'll want only two things
Time enough
To take my time
And to be here
And not be weak

In the face of all
Ugly and foul
Impulse
In my heart
And in my home

Beyond the confines
Of the stolid flesh
And moment
Beyond the power
Of the wretched I

Like my boy
Who grabs and pulls
With strong arms
Anything around
Or lets it go

And its family time on the rug now
Just us three
There's nowhere in the world that I'd rather be
Nowhere in the world that's as good for me
As staying home and taking it slow
I know you feel the same and that moves me the most
I look up from the boy to your eyes
I see again the love, the strength, the fear, the fire and the will that I go by
To measure out the worth of my effort here
The boy stares me down with his hard stare
And busts out grinning like a cavalier